I know I promised a post on my favorite baby things and good things to have on a registry, but that will have to wait. I also promise to try and write something more than once a month. Notice the word TRY. Having a baby changes your life irrevocably. I know you have heard that before, but until you are ACTUALLY holding your first child you hold on to some delusion that your life isn't going to change that much. God I am laughing at my pregnant self so hard right now. You've no idea. Babies take time, attention, and TIME. Does everything have to change? No, but a lot of things do. Suddenly leaving the house goes from a 5 minute undertaking to needing to either plan the night before and have everything pre-prepped OR taking about 2 hours by the end of which you no longer want to leave the house because you are exhausted.(Don't worry that 2 hours will get stream-lined into about 20-30 minutes once you learn how to work that confounded contraption they call a car seat, to just get dressed BEFORE the baby wakes, and to always have the diaper bag fully loaded (that being said always double check it especially if someone recently told you you don't need 18 diapers in the bag. They may have removed them all and then let's just say you end up with an unhappy baby). My point is things change. It takes longer to do anything and things you used to spend time on you no longer seem to have the time or energy for. Then you are inundated with articles telling you to "take time for yourself" and you are thinking "yeah okay, I'll do that at 2500 between the midnight feeding and 1AM diaper change. Here's the thing though that little bit of time for yourself can be very important to your sanity and ultimately your babies health because if you are depressed, run down, and angry your baby will pick up on it and be upset and it become a vicious cycle. So below I am going to outline a few things that made my life seem a little less dramatically changed. Now mind you many of these things took a month or more to be able to do on any sort of regular basis.
Chores
Okay so they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. This is fantastic advice, but you do have things that need done and in the early weeks/months it's best to do them when baby is sleeping. In the early weeks try sleeping during one nap and doing a task the next (they nap a LOT). When naps become less frequent later on work during the nap by that point your little darling will probably be sleeping through the night.
Try to choose where your baby naps. Sometimes they just fall asleep with no warning, but most of the time you'll know a nap is coming. Put the baby either in a room with a monitor or within ear shot of the room you want to work in if not the room its self. You will have piece of mind that baby is safe,but still accomplish whatever it is that needs done. Being sure the baby is safe and content I find to be the biggest hindrance to productivity when I need to work in another room, the second is they are just so darn cute you forget yourself sometimes. You can't do anything about that, not that you'd want to.
Forgive yourself the messy house! It is just not going to be what it was unless you are a) a super woman, b) have friends and family you will let either watch the baby or scrub your toilet, or c) you hire someone. I know that is not very encouraging, but there is a VERY steep learning curve to having a baby. It takes time to figure out how to do everything. It's better to fall a little behind in the house work then run yourself into the ground. Also your little darling is only a baby ONCE, enjoy it. Don't feel bad about not doing the laundry because you decided to spend the afternoon playing with your baby. That is just stupid. ENJOY your bundle of joy!
Grooming
This is an important part of taking care of yourself. TRY to shower daily. On the days you can't manage a shower wash your face and remember dry shampoo is your friend as is a ponytail. And hey I used to feel pretty special on the days I managed to brush my hair. Sometimes I still do. I find it is easiest to shower at night. When my husband isn't home I like to do the dishes right after I put Cutes Patoots down for the night and then shower. When he is in town I like to shower either when he gets home from work or before bed and I do the dishes before the baby wakes up. Doing them at night is better though. I can never guarantee which one of us will wake up first.
As far as the "extras" go, make up and things like that. Try to put make-up on once or twice a week. It will make you feel more like your old self if you wore it before. You may need to stream line the processes though. Ditching some of the old glam and going for something a little simpler: a light dusting of bronzer, maybe a single swipe of eye shadow, and some mascara. If you have time for more by all means do more. For your hair try to get an easy no fuss hair cut before the baby is born. My daughter is 4 months old and I still haven't managed to get mine cut. If you have longer hair a ponytail can really be a life saver. Some people will say it is frumpy, but I find it can be quite pretty if you put a big bow on top (If you have a girl just borrow some of hers, it will save money). French braids are great too, and don't take a lot of time. They are fantastic if like me you used to have bangs but your hair has grown so much they just seem like short layers. I like to braid my bangs into it and just slick a touch of mousse on the front of the braid to keep them in place.
Your nails may take a toll. If you have time to do a full polish job by all means do so, but honestly that won't always be an option. Start looking into 60 second polishes if you plan to go this route, baby will have a sixth sense that your nails are wet. Your other option is to go natural. Keep your nails trimmed and filed to avoid scratching baby's delicate skin and just don't worry about it. As long as your nails are clean and shaped people won't really care about the polish. It's when you are walking around sporting severely chipped paint people start to notice.
How you dress is also important to how you feel about yourself. I find that I am far more productive on days I actually get dressed in "real" clothes and feel like I am more than a diaper changing milk machine. You know what I'm talking about. The yoga pants are super comfy but are just one step away from pajamas. It isn't any more difficult to put on jeans and a baby tee, tank top, or cute top than it is your favorite yoga pants and hoodie that you probably bought while pregnant and couldn't bare to wear anything else. There is nothing wrong with doing the yoga pants and hoodie routine one maybe two days a week but most days try the real clothes thing. You might notice you start to feel a bit better about yourself. When baby is brand new remember if you got a shower and into the yoga pants you did great. If you can get more than that even better.
Sleep
Okay this is a biggie. In the early days sleep when you can. When you have grandparents visit let them watch baby while you catch a few extra Z's. On the weekends ask your partner if they can take over for a bit. When you are on your own just get what sleep you can and remember they do eventually sleep through the night. Try not to lose your patience because you are tired when they are cranky. Learning to control how and when to express your emotions is hard, but if you can learn it quick you will have a much calmer and happier baby.
Once sweetness is sleeping through the night the rules change a little bit. I was lucky and Cutes started sleeping through the night early and with little fuss. Establishing a bedtime routine early was one of the best things I did for her and myself. I promise to write a post on bedtime routines and what we did, but this post is about your sleep and your sanity. Once your little one is down for the night be in bed no more than an hour after. That hour between them going to bed and you going to bed can be used for showering, dishes, watching an entire tv program and actually knowing what is going on, or just sitting starring at a wall. That wind down hour is nice to have, but make sure most nights you don't stay up longer than that because you never know when baby will wake. Sometimes they just start waking up in the middle of the night for no discernible reason, or they wake up at O'dark thirty and will not go back to sleep. The idea here is to get as much sleep as you can because on a great day you will wake up two hours before they do and get stuff done before you even see their smiling face. On a bad day you will have gotten enough sleep to get you through the day.
Baby, Baby, Baby
This one I am still working on, but try not to let your entire life revolve around your little darling. In the early days it will. It has to and that is the nature of becoming a parent, BUT, and this is a big but once you have a handle on the whole parent thing (or think you do at any rate. Inevitably something will happen and you will be like "I know NOTHING.") Let's call it a tenuous grip on parenting make sure everything is not baby. Try reading something that is not baby related, or window shopping for NOT baby stuff. Try to do some of the things you did before baby but maybe with a few modifications. If you liked to jog get a jogging stroller and jog. If you like to go swimming once baby hits about 4 months there is no reason to not take them to the pool as long as your pediatrician okays it. This will give you something to talk about other than baby and your friends will thank you for it.
I hope these suggestions help. These are things that take time to get comfortable with but you need to have an identity other than as your little one's mom, and learning to balance their needs with your own is an important part of that. That balance will change every now and then and you have to learn to adapt. Adapting is not my personal strong suit. I don't like rolling with it and lose schedules. I like to plan and plan and have it all mapped out. With a baby that is much more difficult and learning flexibility is key. Your baby is important but remember so are you.
