Toddlers are People Too

    So the other day I saw a mom lose it with her toddler. Hey I've lost it too, but never to this extent. I actually saw the woman slap her daughter's mouth to get her to stop yelling no. I thought this was uncalled for. She didn't hit her hard and far be it for me to judge another parent's choice as I don't know the full extent of her situation but for me it seemed too far (and surprise it wasn't effective.) I couldn't help but think if someone did that to me what my reaction would be. I determined it would not be pretty.
     I am not against what we will call traditional methods of discipline. A very light swat on the diaper can get a toddler's attention and help them understand you mean business, but I do feel that when we have to resort to disiplinary measures we need to keep in mind that toddlers are people too. Yes they are tiny and lets face it fairly incompetent, but they are supposed to be. It is our job to teach them how to use a spoon and fork properly, that pee goes in the potty not their pants, that while rain boots are cool they might not be the best footwear on a 100 degree day. And I think as parents, whether you stay at home or work, because toddlers are not capable of taking care of themselves we tend to forget that they are actually just small, adorable, often frustrating people. They have likes, dislikes, good days and bad. They also have dreams and ideas. These are all good things. Even when their desires run completely counter to ours it is still a good thing in that they are developing their personality and sense of identity. Want a kid that doesn't jump off the bridge when all the other kids do? Well unfortunately to get that kid you are going to have some toddler battle of the wills as you teach them that they have choices. They then learn that those choices have consequences. All good lessons to start teaching early as it seems to me they are harder to teach later on.
     So when it comes to discipline I feel it is important to TRY to keep in mind that toddlers are people too. Here is what I mean. Lets go back to the woman and her daughter. I wonder if she was dealing with another adult  if she would still have popped them in the mouth. I seriously doubt it. I know I wouldn't. Instead I would just walk away. While you can't completely walk away from your toddler out in public you can take a few steps, maybe even give them your back. I know when I have done this with Cutes it ends whatever fit she was throwing. No point in yelling if you think no one is listening. My point here is though if whatever you are considering using as a disciplinary measure is not something you would do when handling another person perhaps it's time to think a moment and come up with a measure more suited to proper social interaction. As I mentioned earlier toddlers learn from us how to navigate the world this includes social skills. How you handle them when they are frustrating you will reflect in how they handle YOU and others when you are frustrating them. Toddlers favorite thing to do it copy you after all.
     So lets try to treat our toddlers like people. Say "Thank you,"  when they do something you asked them too (yes even if it took you asking 55 times) or when they hand you something (yes even poop), say "You're welcome," to them when they say "Thank you," ask for their opinions on things, acknowledge their feelings as valid, and when they are acting up try to use methods that still respect them as a person. If you wouldn't do it to someone else than try to come up with an alternative that you would. As adults we know the social mores and need to teach these to our children. The lessons start with how we treat them.

A Bunny In the Garden

      Spring is upon us and in our household we have been very busy. Now that we own our own home we decided to put in a full garden. We decided the garden should be a family endeavor, after all we will all benefit from it. It also gives us a chance to teach Cutes Patoots about where the vegetables she eats come from. As well as patience (okay not really) but it does teach her about caring for living things. In the spirit of this we bought her her very own gardening set (gloves, a trowel, a gardening fork, watering can, and a bucket to keep it all in). Because Cutes just turned 2 we chose to go with plastic instead of metal. I also bought her a packet of butterfly flower seeds, and a wide shallow pot to plant them in. She gets her own flower garden and I will hopefully get either butterflies or some bees to pollinate the big garden. She had a blast planting the seeds and helping me to break up the potting soil. Well gardening has it's issues and our biggest one are the jack rabbits. They have already killed a couple of my smaller plants. Apparently "Bunny did it" is a theme in my life.
     This brings us to our sensory project. In honor of the weather warming and our new garden (and pests) I wanted to do something with a spring theme. I took to Pinterest looking for inspiration. I found this activity over at Mama Miss. I knew immediately I wanted to do something similar. The next morning I made a quick trip to Dollar Tree to pick up the carrot "eggs" and low and behold they even had some eggs shaped like bunnies. I also picked up 4 16oz bags of dried black beans.
      When I got home I wanted to make the bin about more than just exploring the beans and gardening but I also wanted to talk about the differences in layers of soil. I still had about 30 oz of colored rice we used in the fall for a different sensory bin that was still in usable/playable condition. I added this to the bottom of a bin and placed all my carrots. I then added the beans, the rabbits, a shovel we had, and a few containers and waited for her to wake up. While I waited I thought that perhaps since this was all about gardening we should do the activity outside in the glorious spring weather and I set up this invitation for her.

 

 Here she is accepting my invitation:

       In the process of getting busy being a toddler I talked to Cutes Patoots about the differences in soil and how it changes as you dig deeper. Sure enough she decided to dig deeper.

A Bunny in the Garden Sensory Bin

Materials:

1. Black Beans or really any dry bean works. It might also be interesting with cooked beans (I used 4 16oz bags)
2. Uncooked Rice (I used colored rice from a previous bin, I think it was 3 16oz bags worth)
3. Something carrot shaped (I used Easter carrot eggs which you can find all over the place right now)
4. Something bunny shaped (again I used Easter eggs)
5. A Shovel 
6. Some small containers/cups
7. A large clear bin to hold it all

     NOTE: If you are going to do different soil types I highly recommend putting in the first layer of soil and then the carrots to keep the layers from mixing.

     After you do the about 5 minutes of prep set the bin somewhere for your little one to explore. I recommend outside if at all possible. The beans will fly! This is a great opportunity to talk to your tike about things like gardening, beans, soil types, growth and a great chance to expose them to language.

  This activity was a great success with Cutes Patoots. She was busy digging, scooping, and picking up beans in her pincer grasp for over an hour and it was fun for me to talk to her and just watch as she explored all the different elements in the bin. It was a really fabulous time.