ER Visits With Baby

I'd like to start with I am hoping to be able to get you two brand new posts this week. I realize I only have 3 days to do this but I am going to try. This post is a post I honestly hoped I wouldn't have to write EVER, or at least more realistically until next year, but here I am having some wisdom to impart. At some point you are going to have to take your little darling to the emergency room. It sucks and it is so scary. You are worried about if you really need to go, how long you will be there, what you need to take and that whole time you are gathering your thing the words "Oh my GOD! Something is wrong with my BABY!!!!" and your mind instantly jumps to the worst possibilities. I know this because on Tuesday night I had to take Cutes Patoots in.
     The short story is I put her down to bed like I normally do but when I left the room she started wailing. Cutes is not a fussy baby. She very rarely cries and this particular cry knifed right through to my very core. I went back up, picked her up to calm her then tried putting her back down. The second she left my arms the wailing commenced. I tried a few other things including sending a message to Papasaururex, who was working, to ask about the behavior or more accurately to whine that our normally angelic bedtime baby was suddenly throwing down. I went back up armed with a grandma on speaker phone singing because last week I was sick and I am still coughing and so singing was completely out. I am so grateful that Grammasaurusrex was up at a ridiculous hour and willing to sing for Cutes while I took her temperature. Cutes was running a 102 degree fever. I knew she felt warm but I didn't expect it to be that high. I immediately grabbed Cutes from her crib and started running around like a chicken with my head cut off, throwing random things in my bag. Once I got to the hospital and got us checked-in I realized what a poor job I had done. I only had 3 diapers, a handful of wipes, no change of clothes if she got sick, no change for the vending machines, nothing but my phone to entertain me and the battery only had a 55% charge. I did think to grab a blanket, extra milk, and Cutes' iPhone so she had her music and games (no I did not buy her the phone, I just gave her my old one. It was cheaper than buying an mp3 player and bonus I can put games and other busy bee stuff on it.) This was a disaster. I was also only 2 hours away from my pump time and an ER visit is a minimum of 3 hours on a short trip! What was I thinking?!?! The answer is I wasn't.
     My solution to this simple you can either create an ER Trip checklist that I promise you, you will forget you have or to have a bag packed with the "you will forget" essentials. In this bag you should pack:

1. $3 in quarters or other change per person. That will cover at least one drink and one snack for everybody. obviously if baby is still just drinking milk you can leave out their allotment but if you are breastfeeding or pumping the extra might be nice for you mom.
2. An unopened bottle of water per person. This way you can save your change for a caffeine boost at 2am when you are still sitting there.
3. A baby blanket
4. A change of clothes for the baby, and a least a shirt for mom or dad. This way if anyone gets sick or medicine is spit out you aren't sitting there looking any shabbier than you already do because you couldn't be bothered with matching clothes on the way out the door. Hey if your shoes are a pair you look like a rock star in my book. ( yes there was another mom their with mis-matched shoes and a sick baby. I completely understood.)
5. Spit-up cloths
6. A book, cross-word, sudoku whatever interests you that doesn't require power so when baby manages to fall asleep you aren't bored and draining your phone battery that you will need for the influx of "how's the baby doing" calls and texts.
7. Pacifier, if your LO uses one
8. 5 diapers per diaper wearer and a full package of unopened wipes (this way no worries about them drying out).
9. A spare nursing cover if you nurse or pump.

Now when the time comes all you have to remember is to grab a bottle, extra milk, baby's favorite toy, wallet, and if you are a pumper PLEASE for the love of your boobs your pump, which probably has a battery-pack that should be kept with it WITH batteries. And seriously matching shoes over rated when it comes to the kiddo. I hope this helps someone else because my first ER visit did not go smoothly. We were only there a short time (3.5 hours) but we could have been there a lot longer and I didn't have some of the things I needed. We go home and there were no diapers left, I had 1 wipe, was famished, and my phone was nearly dead.
    Cutes by the way just has a non-specific bug of some sort, doctor speak for "I have no idea." With only a fever to go on and no other symptoms they were completely confused. She is doing better now.

Save Yourself the Explainations

Another quick blurb for you. You know, something to look forward to or commiserate if you are or have been here. Babies eat paper! For the last few weeks I swear Cutes Patoots has sought out every scrap of paper she can find to put in her mouth and rip to shreds. I am sure she has swallowed at least one piece of a print to ship tracking receipt before I wrangled it from her iron grasp.

Here is my advice if you are in school do all of your homework on the computer and print it the day it's to be turned in. That way you are less likely to have to hand in a mangled taped together scrap of paper missing 2 corners with a mysterious hole in the middle. Thankfully all my schooling is online and I have not had to do this. Though I did recently have to mail in a form that was missing a corner. Seriously keep all paper on a surface at least double the hieght of your baby. They have Go-Go Gadget arms and will find it. Once they learn to open boxes even a box isn't safe. We have lost at least three perfectly unused but thoroughly chewed and mangled diapers in the least week to a clever box opening Cutes.

Quick Painting Idea

So anyone who crafts or paints knows you need something to squeeze paint on to. We have all used various things; sheet of paper, paper plate...a dinner plate. Hey you may have even bought yourself a fancy paint pallet. I recently came up with a great idea. My daughter was napping and I wanted to paint some clay hand prints for a project I will share at a later date. The trouble was I knew she'd wake up before I was done. So I grabbed a spare travel wipes case I had laying around. Now not only did I have somewhere to put my paint but if Cutes Patoots found my pallet she couldn't just get her hand, foot, or tongue on my paint. We all have several of these cases laying around because it seems like every box of wipes comes with one.

So there it is my Mommypotamus craft tip!

Google, Pregnancy, and Babies

     The obsession starts the moment you decide to become pregnant or if it's an unplanned pregnancy the moment you get the little plus sign. You start Googling every. Little. Thing. From "am I really pregnant" to "is green poop normal."  What about "Is a wheezing sound normal." Sounds reasonable to look that up until you realize your baby learned they can make sound by inhaling. (Yeah I went there because yes I did it.) Maybe you even look up "how reliable is Internet information," though not many do. (I'd bet you right now there are ten things posted on your Facebook page that seem legit but if you researched them are fake.) My point is when you find out you are going to be a parent Google seems like your very best friend. In fact I bet you are Googling right now, otherwise how did you end up here?

     As a new or even a second or third time parent Google can be a very useful resource. For instance you can look up product reviews, recalls, and recommendations. You can also find out what the latest safety guidelines are for newborn care, foods, milk storage, car seats, etc. But you have to be careful and make sure the information you are reading is accurate. We all know that but few of us bother to fact check or consider the source we are getting our information from. Where it gets really hinky is when we start Googling things like "infant wheezing" "lower abdominal pain pregnant" "newborn congestion and cough." We start looking up medical issues trying to determine if we should go  to the doctor. What we end up doing is freaking ourselves out, calming ourselves down, freaking out again, worrying constantly, and then running to the emergency room or urgent care clinic because we are convinced our baby is going to die of some rare complication because it doesn't happen often but "oh my god it happened to all these people on the Internet!!!" We go to Google or Bing or whatever search engine we prefer to try and calm our already over active imagination down and end up feeding fuel to the raging inferno. I am not saying to not look things up. It is a pregnant and parental compulsion, but when reading information steer clear of reading discussion boards. One, chances are most of the "answers" to the question will be other parents going "mine too, what is this" or two, it will be a story of someone who had a bad experience. Chances are pretty good that cough is a cold and not something worse. A healthy dose of caution is a good thing, but the internet is likely to take that caution and turn it into nearly paralyzing fear.
     "But Mommypotamus I have so many questions I need answers to?" you say.Go ahead and Google away, but make sure to check your facts and consider your source. Even What to Expect When You're Expecting has segments written by people that are not experts. If it is a medical issue your best bet is to talk to you doctor or pediatrician. They are the only one who is going to give you true peace of mind. And believe me during pregnancy and especially through that first year they have probably been asked before and they EXPECT you to have a million questions. Don't be afraid to call and ask if hey think you should come in. I actually called to ask how many days could pass before I should be concerned if Cutes Patoots didn't have a bowel movement. (The answer is about a 5 days in a 2 month old, and the nurse had me give her diluted prune juice. We did end up seeing the pediatrician at day 6 and she had us give her 1/2 a glycerin suppository. You get them at the pharmacy. Just in case you need to know....Don't do it in the kitchen....Yes you are likely to get poop on you.)
     My final thoughts on Google, pregnancy, and babies is this: for every "answer" you run across that gives you some measure of peace you will read about 10 that will just freak you out, possibly running to the emergency room. So when you are reading horror stories or even just guidelines try to remember to consider the source, avoid getting "facts" from discussion boards, and ask your pediatrician. There is no way someone on the internet who can not see you or your baby can give you a completely accurate evaluation of your situation. Learn to sort through what you find, and this applies to pretty much anything. Jackie Chan has died in a stunt accident more times than I can count thanks to the internet adn last I check he was still alive and kicking.

Craftastic Mommypotamus

So I have been a'crafting this week. First I tried to make edible flubber...that was a bust technically speaking. The flubber never got to the correct consistency. However, Cutes Patoots had a great time. At the end of it the child was a sticky, icky mess and completely thrilled with herself. So even though my experiment didn't quite work the way I planned I am still calling it a success.

See? Happy baby.

    It took me an hour to get her clean and let's just say there is still some dried purple goo on the high chair. But the gooey baby was the bigger priority. It was fun to watch her play with it and after all babies are washable. 

Edible Goo

1 can (14oz) Sweetened Condensed Milk

6 tbls Corn Starch

Food Coloring

Directions:

1) Heat sweetened condensed milk in a pan over low heat.

2) Add corn starch 1 tablespoon at a time until well blended.

3) Once the mixture starts to thicken remove from heat and add food coloring until you reach the desired color.

4) Let cool to about room temperature.

     After you have played with your goo, simply soak baby in a bath to remove the goo. Soaking in water works in other surfaces too. Warning: There are some jobs even a baby wipe can't handle. This is one of them.

     My next project was for me, a homemade sugar scrub! Seriously never buying a scrub again! Bonus if you bought cute jars it can be given as a gift!!!!

Vanilla and Coffe Sugar Scrub

1 1/2 cup Ground Coffee

2 1/3 cups Sugar in the Raw

3/4 cup White Sugar

1 tbls Kosher Salt

4 tbls Vanilla Extract

1 tbls Olive Oil

6-8 tbls Coconut Oil

Directions

1) In a large bowl mix the dry coffee grounds, raw sugar, white sugar, and salt until well blended.

2) Add extract and oils. Mix with your hand until every thing is evenly coated. It won't seem very moist but it is just enough to moisturize while not leaving that oily feel on your skin.

     Choose your coffee wisely though because your whole shower will smell like it. I'd put a pot on to brew before getting in the shower. Besides you could probably use the caffeine to chase the little one anyway.

   My final project is my favorite and is it ever a doozy! I like to window shop on Zulily.com. Every now and then these AMAZING bow holders come up for sale that look like tutu dresses. I showed them to Papasaurusrex, who was fairly unimpressed with them. He told me I could make one. I doubted him and his wisdom, but agreed to try. I am so glad I did. I think mine came out prettier than the ones I saw for sale, and it is certainly more our colors and style.

      I started with a piece of cardboard from a box and drew out the shape of the bodice. I made about 3inches of cardboard "hip" to glue the tulle on to. I then used spray adhesive to glue 2 layers of quilting batting to the cardboard that I trimmed with scissors to fit. I had the zebra fabric for another project I never got around to doing, which I cut about 2 inches wider than my board on each side. I wrapped the fabric around my padded board and made cuts in the material so it fit closely to the form, and glued it in place with Loctite Crafters Adhesive. I had about 25 yards of tulle in my crafting goodies cut into about 17" strips left over from a tutu project that I hot glued to the bottom of the bodice. I found layering 3 pieces of tulle together and then pinching the top before gluing to give me the best effect. (Side note: Be prepared to burn your fingers. I am pretty sure that is just what happens when you work with hot glue.) Then I cut my ribbon. I used 4 different ribbons: a 3in teal and green polka dot for the waistband, a 3in wired zebra ribbon, a 1in black and pink striped, and a 1in hot pink on hot pink glitter polka dot for the skirt ribbons. I also used the pink polka dot to wrap the bodice. I glued the 3 pieces of zebra print on top of the tulle and the black and pink stripe ribbon on top of that. I then added the hot pink ribbon streamers in-between, and wrapped the bodice, gluing it down in the center of the bodice and wherever it overlapped with a drop of hot glue and the edges on the back. After that I glued the wide teal ribbon over the "messy" edges of the ribbon and tulle and hot glued my embellishments. To cover up the back I am going to use a piece of poster board and Crafter's Adhesive.
     I wish I could give you exact measurements on the length of the ribbons for your craft shopping list, but I don't know. I bought spools from Wal-mart and just cut them to the length of the tulle. The pink polka dot ribbon used the entire spool. The others I had plenty left over. If buying by the yard I would get 1 yard of the waist band ribbon, and 3 yards of the 3" skirt ribbon, 3 yards of the 1" skirt ribbon,  and a spool of the bodice ribbon. I made my hanger out of a left over strip of tulle but you could also use ribbon. I used probably a little over 25 yards of tulle for the skirt. You can use less but I wanted the skirt to be really full as well as long.
     The great part about this project is it is only limited by your creativity. You can cut the bodice to any shape you like. It could be a boat neck, sweetheart neckline, "strapless", or heart shaped. ANY neckline you want. You could even do asymmetrical or get really fancy with extra fabric and some Modge Podge and build a drape or cowl neck. As for embellishments you can use fake jewels, buttons, or even real pieces of jewelry. You can make bows if you want. Though if you are anything like me, you have enough hair bows to put on it you won't feel the need to decorate it with bows. I even thought about having a lace edge under the teal ribbon, but decided it was fussy enough on its own it didn't need more help. 

So there you go, my week of crafting. If you try any of these let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts and see your creations!

Product Review: Ingenuity Sahara Burst Automatic Bouncer

     One night Papasuarusrex, Cutes Patoots, and I left the house to grab some takeout for dinner. (I know terrible, but I was too tired to cook and frankly needed to go grocery shopping. I know you've been there or will be soon). But upon returning home there was a package on our doorstep. I practically flew from the car because I KNEW that HAD to be my Ingenuity Sahara Burst Automatic Bouncer! I just knew. Kids II, the parent company for Ingenuity, Bright Starts, and a handful of other companies sent me an email to let me know I would be receiving it in the mail for product testing and review. I was thrilled because Cutes swing died the week before so she was refusing naps. This was going to be the answer to my prayers! Unfortunately, Papasaurusrex decided that no matter how excited I was I had to eat my dinner before I could play with my new toy. As soon as I was done though I was one the floor, screwdrivers and batteries in hand.
     This was not our first bouncer. I got rid of the first bouncer a long time ago because of flimsy construction, so I was a little wary of another one. One thing I noticed immediately was how nice the materials are. The metal pieces are a nice heavy gauge, but not so heavy as to hurt the baby if they say, grab a leg and roll away with it. The plastic pieces are high quality too. They are a thicker, higher grade plastic than I have seen on a lot of bouncers. The seat cover is made of super soft materials that the best word to describe is cuddly. So cuddly that Cutes grabbed it and rolled away to snuggle with it while I worked on putting the frame together. I was immediately impressed by just the materials. (Side note: Putting together a bouncer with a 7 month old is an interesting process. She kept stealing the instructions. Thankfully the mechanics of putting it together are fairly simple and I could do it with out the instruction book. Though what I read of them suggests they were well written with los of illustrations.)

All assembled!

     On to assembly. I expected it to take me 5, maybe 10 minutes to put together. I was wrong. It took me
closer to 40. So if your little darling is already here make sure you have someone else to help you watch them or do it during a long nap. Of course it could also have been the infant playing with the various parts while I was trying to assemble it, but some of it was that the pieces fit together very tightly. It took a lot more force and finesse than I expected to attach the legs to the seat frame work. I had to get Papasuarusrex involved at that point. This is NOT a complaint. Once the frame was assembled it was VERY sturdy. It moved only the way it was supposed to. There was no side to side twisting of the frame. It didn't sway from side to side and need the seat cover to stabilize it. I would rather it take me 40 minutes to put together a sturdy product I can continue to use than 10 minutes for something that will warp. Everything fits together very snug, even the seat cover fits tightly to the frame so the seat portion doesn't sag and leave baby unsupported.
      Cutes didn't get to try it out that night because bedtime was upon us by the time I was finished. The next day though she was all about sitting in and under her bouncer. Because it is a little taller than some of the other models on the market the Ingenuity Sahara Burst Automatic Bouncer can also be crawled under and she turned it into a fort. That day she took her first real nap in a week. She was comfy and cozy and she loved the little elephant toy bar. Cutes is an older infant now and is about 20 lbs, but she was well supported by the Ingenuity bouncer. She even liked the automatic bouncing it did. Yes you heard me right, AUTOMATIC bouncer.  No more bouncing with you foot while the seat just vibrates. This bouncer features 2 bounce modes. One is your standard up and down but the second one is the coolest. It is a heartbeat mode and simulate the thump of the human heart. I would have loved to have had this bouncer when she was a newborn for that alone. It also play music, which we both enjoyed as there 8 songs and 3 nature sounds programmed in. It also has a timer so once the little one is asleep you don't run the batteries out.
     My only complaint is that the toy bar comes off rather easily. This is so it is easy to pick baby up out of it and I understand that. But the toy bar is also positionable and can be pushed back to allow access to baby. I wish it locked in somehow. Over all though this product is a big win. Sturdy construction, high quality materials, useful features that work the way they should, and a napping baby.

Well sometimes, but that is how I feel about it too.

    I did receive the Ingenuity Sahara Burst Automatic Bouncer from Kids II for free, but all the opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone. Kid II and their affiliates in no way influenced my thoughts on this product. We genuinely love this bouncer. It can be purchased from Target for $49.99 and it will be worth every penny. Cutes Patoots is more of a swing baby and she loves this bouncer. And after all baby love is the best endorsement of all.

Stop Mother-Smothering

   I am HORRIBLE about this. I will tell Papasuarusrex how she likes to play, how to comfort her, how to put her to bed, how to brush her teeth, don't do this or that, no, no, do it this way. Or worse if Cutes Patoots is upset I will intervene before he even has a chance to work it out on his own. He will call me on it too. I remember once I was making dinner and she started to cry, I stopped what I was doing to "fix" whatever it was for her and him. He called me on it, told me "I got this. Finish making dinner and stop mother-smothering!"

   He was right (it only pains me a little to say that). Recently he took some time off and for once I let go, so to speak. I let him take the night shift, morning shift, or both if he was amenable (he took almost all of them. The others I got before he heard her) so I could sleep and he got time with her by himself. And guess what? She is still alive and happy. Papasaurusrex is happy because he got some one on one with Cutes. And I got some work done AND caught up on my sleep. I think we are all better for my letting go and affording him the opportunities to do it HIS way.

Letting your partner do things their way gives baby a chance to look at the world differently. Maybe your partner likes to play a little rougher than you. That is ok. It can help baby develop in other ways. WTEWE has a great article on this. It also gives baby a chance to bond with their other parent and allows your partner to figure out what works for them (it may very well be different). Here is a prime example. If Cutes is rolling and bucking around her crib at night trying to avoid sleep I can usually just rub her back to get her to hold still and fall asleep. This does not work for Papasaurusrex because she sees him as someone to play with. He has his own method now that I have let go of the reigns and stopped interfering (most of the time.) What? It's a hard habit to break! 

   Start small if you have to. Have your partner watch baby while you take a bath (and stay in it even if you hear baby cry). I promise you if they need you to intervene they will come get you. Or maybe you make dinner, take care of the laundry you are behind on, try that craft you pinned 3 months ago. Just pick something and do it. By being in the house you'll see that they get on just fine. If you can't seem to restrain yourself (highly probable) try going on a family shopping trip and giving the diaper bag and stroller to your partner. When you get to the store go your separate ways. Go look at shoes, baby stuff, underwear (you probably could use some new pairs). But remember do NOT wander off with the diaper bag. You will get an angry text. (just trust me on that one...Oops!)
   Now you may be like me and suffer from extreme mother-smother syndrome. The most obvious symptoms are: the inability to let go, extreme exhaustion, constantly assuming you know best, and a constantly annoyed spouse. If you have any of these symptoms you need to get treatment fast or it will get worse. Your partner may even develop a case of "she'll-get-it-itis" a terrible disease affecting even the most awesome of parents. To treat extreme cases of mother-smother syndrome you have to Leave. The. House. ALONE! Even if it is just a short run to get milk. Just leave baby with your partner. Resist the urge to call or text unless you are going to take longer than expected or have a non-baby related question. Do not ask how the baby is. You may have to do this several times and for longer periods of time before you start to recover. You will most likely have frequent relapses, be aware of them. Make sure your partner feels comfortable calling you out on it when you just can not help yourself. I promise you'll thank me because letting go affords you photo ops like this.

Great Teething Aid

It's been a busy week for Cutes Patoots. She is working on getting up on all fours, having a new earlier bedtime, Papasaurusrex is on leave, separation anxiety (and extra games of peek a boo) have started to set in, but most scarily she is getting her first tooth. I have to say she has been a doll baby through it all. But let's face it teething hurts! So she has been a little fussy (and I don't blame her). This new tooth not only hurts but marks the end of night time milk bottles. If she wakes in the night it's just water for her (and how sad is that)! Today we were out looking for pajamas and she was just miserable. So I picked up a Razbaby Razberry teether. It's basically a nubby pacifier she can chew. I broke it out of the package, wiped it off with the ever handy pacifier wipes in my bag, and viola! Happy baby!!! I will have more on teething later but I just HAD to share this little gem! At the moment she is reviewing the Sassy Strawberry Terry Teether with an ice cube in it, but more on that later.

Dad: What You Can Do

     So you've noticed (or maybe not noticed) your partner is not her typical self. There are  dark circles under her eyes, her steps are lagging, shoulders slumped, and she is very short tempered. So what's causing this? The long and short of it is having a baby is wonderful but it is also exhausting and if she is a stay at home mom chances are she isn't getting the breaks she needs. While you are at work (admittedly not fun) she is at home working (yes baby IS work), when you come home and unwind after a long day at the office she is working, even when she is sleeping mommy is on call. You would be surprised to know how many times your partner wakes up in the night just to check on the baby. Then there are those late night feedings and diaper changes. She may not even remember how to turn it off, and probably needs your help (with gentle reminders) to do so. But what can you do? You probably feel lost and possibly like she does things better.

Try:

• Offering to take the baby for a morning or an afternoon. If she has a tendency to as my husband calls it "mother smother" take baby out of the house so she doesn't even have the opportunity to involve herself in baby care. Tell her to read a book, take a bath or nap, stare at a wall, whatever she wants that doesn't involve baby or dishes. (Maybe she does what a chance to do chores without worrying over baby)
• Making dinner or doing the dishes, vacuuming or folding laundry. Taking care of a baby is a lot of work, but that doesn't mean that chores disappear. They still need done. Chances are mom is behind on her to do list and it is driving her crazy, but when she has a "free" moment she can't muster the energy to do much of anything. (Trust me when she chooses to nap, read, or just surf the internet instead of vacuuming she feels guilty. But the idea of a minute to herself is nice, and she is loathe to risk waking the boss.) So help a mother out and take a task or two off of her plate. Sometimes even just watching the baby so mom can cook without worrying over the baby is enough to make things look a little brighter.
• Beating mom to it. Papasaurusrex is good about this. If he hears Cutes Patoots movement alarm go off or hears her crying before I do he will go take care of whatever it is that needs done. Sometimes if I wake up, he will tell me to go back to sleep while he gets it. Beating her to it during the night might be tricky though. It seems like becoming a mom triggers some sort of super hero powers in a mom and she knows the baby's breath hitched despite being in a dead sleep and in a separate room. But beating her to it can also be a day thing. She spends a good deal of time jumping up and down changing diapers, prepping bottles, grabbing toys, etc, so if baby starts to fuss jump up and help your little darling out. It will be a big help to your big darling. If you don't know what is wrong and can't figure it out try asking your partner. She may have a few tricks up her sleeve that she'd be more than happy to share. If she tries to do it for you wave her off and let her know you WANT to help and to let you do whatever it may be.
• Don't change things or spring surprises on her (unless it is a surprise trip to the spa). Sometimes things happen at the last minute at work. You can't help that. However make sure mom has as much warning as possible that you have to work Saturday or have a business trip next month. If she is counting on having your help and then finds out she isn't going to have it at the last minute she is more likely to feel irritated, especially if you have know for a month but don't tell her until the day before. Keep in mind though she may need a reminder.
• Doing what you say you will. If you promised to take the baby or go somewhere with the family, do it. Don't back out. It becomes very depressing to always feel like you are not a priority. Baby is always the number one concern in the house for mom, make sure she knows she is one of yours. It's not always convenient and sometimes you are tired too, but if you said you would go somewhere or do something, go to the zoo for example, it is possible she is really looking forward to it. Backing out may not seem like a big deal to you, but for her it can be heart breaking.
• When you go on an outing with the whole family don't leave all the care to mom. It's easy to do when you go on a trip to the store, but try to make sure you do it too when you are hanging with friends. Mom needs time to be social with people that can talk and don't just cry at her. Most places have either a family restroom or changing tables in the men's restroom these days (If it's not out in the open check the handicap stall). If you are at a store that doesn't have these facilities but has fitting rooms grab something off a rack and use the bench in the changing room.
• Telling her to get out of the house and you'll take care of the baby. If she says she doesn't know what to do tell her to get a hair cut, a manicure, pedicure, splurge on a pair of jeans or a shirt that makes her feel pretty. Chances are even if she has lost the majority of her baby weight her pre-pregnancy clothes don't quite work for her yet. Her body has changed and she may need to rethink her personal style and things like grooming take a backseat to baby. An afternoon or morning with just herself to think about might be just what she needs.
•  Not making statements about what she is eating. This sounds stupid, but sometimes seemingly harmless statements like "Wow that's a lot of food," or "You're eating THAT," can come across in a way you don't mean them. Mom is trying to lose weight, yes, and can use help, but reminding her of calories can be damaging. There are several factors at play here. The first is she is not getting proper sleep (yes a good majority of things come back to this). Food= energy. So if she is especially tired she may be inclined to eat more to make up for the lack of sleep. Second, she may not seem active to you but caring for a little one can be just as calorie burning as going for a long walk or short run. All the up and down, the lifting, carrying 20lbs of stuff in a diaper bag it's a work out. Also if she is nursing she is making food for a second person which  burns quite a few calories on its own. Statements like these can put her off her food, or cause her to eat less than she needs to which can damage her milk. So even if she is eating more than you try not to comment. As long as she is making progress towards her weight loss goals it's all good. If she isn't making progress try suggesting taking a walk or going for a swim instead of making comments on her food intake. The exercise will more than likely lead to her making better food choices on it's own. And remember you have no idea what she was able to eat when you weren't around. Dinner could be her first meal of the day. Don't judge her food. It will just make her angry.

     Most importantly don't forget to tell her she is beautiful even when she hasn't brushed her hair in two days and is wearing gym clothes because she couldn't manage with anything else. She works hard, even if it doesn't seem like it to you, I promise you she does. Even an hour break with you taking care of baby can leave her feeling refreshed. Baby can't say thank you, but you can. So make sure you tell her she is appreciated because it is easy to think you aren't.

My Favorite Baby Items

My dear Cutes Patoots has a lot of things. Many of them are great, but there are a few items that I am really happy to have. I'd keep checking this list as I will add to it until she is 6 months when I will make a new list for older babies. I provided links to the products that should open in a separate tab to make it easy for you.

• Fisher Price Cradle Swing Not every baby likes to swing. Mine LOVES it. I do recommend spending the extra money for the full size cradle swing instead of the more compact floor swing. Babies seem to like to be up and feel like they are part of things. We picked the Discover and Grow theme because of it's bright and high contrast colors. Babies love bright colors and for a while they have a hard time seeing the pastels. I also really like that the seat adjusts into a recline position AND a sitting position. Cutes Patoots is not quite ready for the high chair yet, or maybe I'm not, so the tray is nice when doing a feeding. Clearly you don't have to go with my model or even brand but I do STRONGLY suggest you get one that runs on batteries AND plugs into the wall, otherwise you may as well just buy stock in Duracell. The only down side is if you have a larger baby because the weight limit is 25lbs you will have to find a "replacement". We are currently in the market for something to replace the swing. We think we found one. I'll let you know how that goes.
• Fisher Price Whale of a Tub I can not tell you how much I love this tub. The bumper keeps baby from sliding, it's easy to clean, and cute to boot. They now also make a penguin tub along the same lines. The bumper is removable and to avoid mold and mildew remove it after each bath to dry after washing the tub out. I haven't found a down side yet. Even the price is nice. I am not a proponent of the sling tubs. I've heard to many stories that started with "I took my hand off to get the soap..." The baby is usually just startled, but mom or dad is horrified. Apparently as a baby I turned mine into a water slide regularly much to the horror of my mom and grandma. So my grammy thought this was brilliant and made sure I had this one. I also did my research. At the time I was looking this tub reviewed better than any other by actual users.
• Thermal Aid Bear I got this guy at Costco and have not regretted it. When Cutes gets her vaccines and runs that low grade fever this helps make her a bit more comfortable. When our A/C was broken for almost 2 weeks in June in Hawaii this bear helped me feel better about her having to sleep and live in 85 degrees. She likes to cuddle him and gets excited when ever she sees him. He is made of a nice terry cloth and is washable, always a plus in any baby item. He can be used as a hot or cold pack. We have the green one, though Thermal Aid makes them in a variety of colors and even other animals.
• Summer Infant Swaddlers and Halo Sleep Sacks I sucked at swaddling. Even as a newbie Cutes could escape a mommy swaddle in a heartbeat. The SwaddleMe wraps are the only reason I could swaddle her. My husband was an expert at the blanket swaddle, but if you have any doubts about your swaddle-fu get a few of these. Remember the rule of 3:one in the wash, one one the baby, one clean. And then have a swaddling sized blanket on hand as back up. Trust me baby poop happens and at 3 am that can be an issue when baby has peed on the one they were wearing, are wearing your back up, and the one from the night before is in the wash because you weren't quite quick enough the morning before. These are nice because baby will not docilely hold still for you to wrap them up at 3 am either, and no matter how tired you are I assure you the velcro will make sense. The Halo sacks are nice for when they are done being swaddled but aren't ready for a blanket. Just make sure with all of these that you have the right size for your child. When the SwaddleMe gets to small baby will be able to push with those tiny tootsies and break free. Summer Infant also makes wearable blankets, like the Halo ones, but theirs have a double zipper. Super nice for diaper changes.
• Tummy Time Mat We have two: the one on the link provided and a more simplistic one from Bright Starts . I liked having 2 because it gave her a change up and if one needed washed she could still have a tummy time mat. We started Cutes Patoots with tummy time and the play mat by week two or three. Pretty much as soon as I could get in the floor and "play" with her. Mostly they just lay there looking around as a newborn, but they quickly start trying to interact and you can use
  
  that clutching reflex to put toys in their hands. Just touch the toy to their palm and they will clench down and the light weight toy will move and make sound. We used a simple set of plastic keys or a Bright Starts rattle. I also liked the Lamaze wrist and foot rattles at play time. Small toys are great and most play mats will come with a few. Tummy time is important for babies to help them develop those core muscles they will need for rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. It also helps them to develop neck and back muscles for head control. The problem is not all babies enjoy it. So be sure to hang out with your little darling on the floor while they play. Your first few sessions may not go well, but keep at it. In the early days these sessions probably won't last longer than 10-15 minutes before baby is done. I always liked to start with her on her back for a few and then turn her over propping her with a provided tummy time pillow for a few more minutes. You can always use a blanket, but I loved my mats for color, and the Neptune Gym has the bars to hang toys in babies view. That is great for developing hand eye coordination once they start to swat at things.
•  Medela Pump in Style There are cheaper pumps out there but this one is worth every penny, especially if you are going to be pumping a lot. As I've said before I exclusively pump and my breast pump is a champ.  5 months in and it still works as good as the day I got it. A double pump is nice because it cuts your pumping time in half, if you are still in the pregnancy phase you may not realize how important that is. Let me put it this way; to build and maintain your supply you will be pumping every 3-4 hours 20-30 minutes on each side, that is 3-4 hours a day with a double pump. With a single pump you double that time, and believe me when I say 6-8 of pumping will destroy what "free" time you have. ( PLEASE do not let the time discourage you from pumping or breast feeding if you are able to. It really is what's best for baby.) Plus if you work it's much easier to ask for a half hour at a time then an hour. Other nice things about this pump is it is fairly easy to clean, though there is one spot that is a bit difficult and I do recommend having an extra set of shields, valves, and membranes. That way one set can be in the dishwasher. I tend to pump with one set a day, hand washing the pieces in between sessions. the fact it's in a tote is nice too because you can keep all of your pump stuff together and moving it from room to room is easier. I don't care for the Medela milk storage so I use Lansinoh Breast Milk storage bags and because we use the Playtex Drop-in Nursers I also like the Playtex Breast Milk Storage System. I have tried several brands of milk storage bag and found Lansinoh to be the easiest with fewer leaks and spills, plus the labels are easy to write on and read. The bottles we love because once you push the air out baby takes in very little air meaning less gas and trust me you want less gas. Another perk to the Drop-Ins is there are less parts to sterilize and the parts are easier to clean. Breast milk has a lot of fat which can leave a residue that can be hard to get out of a traditional bottle if you don't clean it out immediately, like say at 3 am when baby finishes a bottle and you fall asleep in your glider until 6 when they get up again and want fed.
• Bottle Huggers/Pets These are not necessary by any means, but we LOVE them. She also has this one. Why are these so great?
  
  This is why. They let baby hold on to their bottle and if you (against APA advisement...we all do it at some point) bottle prop it holds the bottle in place. Plus they are just so darn cute! We get compliments on these everywhere we go and they always ask where we got them. Her duck and turtle came from a place that no longer sells them, but you can get them and others on Amazon. Just search bottle pet or bottle hugger. Bonus they are machine washable.
• .   An Exersaucer This is not something you have to have immediately. Baby won't really use it until they have built stronger core muscles and have good head control. There are cheaper versions and more expensive ones. I wanted one with a lot of color because Cutes Patoots loves bright colors as I have said before. If you want something that will grow with them Evenflo has a great one that can be used as a play mat, exersaucer, and toddling play center. We got ours from some friends and Cutes Patoots took right to it, loving the new perspective on her world. It's also nice for me because she can play while I do homework or housework in the same room. Look for something with lots of busy, easy to use toys. Don't be afraid to buy second hand or except a freebie from friends here. This is one of those things that second hand is fine. Just make sure to wash it down because baby will put everything in their mouth.
• Travel System We got the Baby Trend jogging system for Cutes. I went with a jogging stroller because I planned to get back into walking and jogging once Cutes arrived and didn't see the point in having multiple strollers for a newborn. She was 3 weeks old when we did a 5k together. Our time was awful, but better than we expected. A travel system is nice though because the carseat carrier will click right into your stroller, no need to wake baby going from the car to stroller or stroller to car. I am also a big proponent of the infant carrier carseat because you don't have to wake your little darling to get them out of the car, and trust me waking baby is not something you will do lightly. They need their sleep.An over tired baby is not fun to deal with. I really like the stroller that comes with the Baby Trend system. It is easy to drive, even one handed. It collapses and expands with ease. All in all it is just very easy to use. The only down side is because it is a jogging stroller it does take up a lot of space, but its maneuverability even in tighter spaces is a bonus. Once she is sitting up on her own easily we will probably get her an umbrella stroller for most trips out of the house, reserving her Cadillac for jogging and places like the beach, where we will go off roading.
• Boppy These are great because you can use them to breast feed or bottle feed. They help insure proper positioning. You can also use them for tummy time, to help an infant sit up, and you will undoubtedly find other uses for this pillow as well. I also recommend getting the waterproof cover and a spare cover just in case.
• Baby Carrier A baby carrier is great, whether it is an afternoon at a zoo or you just need to vacuum. Baby wearing is also a great way to bond with baby. I recommend getting one that adjusts easily and will work for you and your partner. It makes it easier if both people can wear baby. Though admittedly you might not want to give baby up no matter how tired your back gets. Sure you can hold baby in your arms but I promise they will get tired long before your back does. Make sure whatever carrier you get is comfortable with weight in it. A carrier changes when there is a 17lbs baby in it, trust me.
• Changing Table with a contoured changing pad We were told by several people we know that we wouldn't use a changing table because changing the baby sideways is awkward. So we decided not to buy one. After all why waste $100 when there were other things we needed? Well a neighbor put one out on the curb for bulk trash pickup but ti was still in good condition. It just needed some paint and a new changing pad. I can not tell you how glad I am we grabbed that off the curb.If I had to go back and do it all over again and didn't have the free one I would buy one. I use it everyday. To eliminate the awkwardness of changing the baby from the side we positioned it so we could change Cutes from the bottom and not have to do it from a side angle. I also recommend spending the extra money for a contoured changing pad because it helps keep the baby in place.Changing pad covers are nice to have too because as I have mentioned before sometimes babies pee mid-change. I wish I had seen this cover by Halo sooner. I'd have bought it in a heartbeat. Babies do NOT stop waving their arms just so you can change them. By the time I saw it I had diaper changing down to an art. Cutes Patoots is 5 months as I type this and I still love my changing table. The one we have has shelves that with the addition of canvas bins makes a great place to store all of those diaper changing essentials, hair bows, tiny shoes, etc. There are also dressers with changing tables built in. One of those would be great too because it is dual purpose. If you can accomplish 2 or more things with one piece of equipment do so. Babies are small, their things are not
• Diaper Genie Okay this is another one of those things several people told me i wouldn't really use, and we didn't buy one. I entered a photo contest for Playtex and won my Diaper Genie. When it arrived I thought "hey we'll give it a try" the result I love it. It keeps the the number of times I have to empty the kitchen garbage out, keeps the diaper out of the kitchen, and in general is just great. I wish we had 2; one for her nursery upstairs and the one we have downstairs. It keeps the smells contained and if you just spray a bit of Lysol in it when you are emptying it and the inside doesn't get smelly either.
• Circo Crib Sheet As of right now Target's brand of crib sheet is sold in a cloth pouch that matches the sheet. Those pouches are great for storing small toys, packing outfits in the diaper bag, all sorts of great things. The packaging is eco friendly because you can use the pouch over and over, even wash it. The sheets are also a nice material that washes easily and doesn't fade.
• Eddie Bauer Broadmoor Diaper Backpack This diaper bag is nicely made and durable. We like it because it holds a lot of stuff and my husband doesn't mind carrying it because it is very gender neutral. It won't clash with whatever you are wearing either, possibly the last thing on your mind after baby comes but still nice. It has a nice side cooler pouch to store bottles in, a "wet" bag, and a changing pad. The changing pad is a little flimsy but it's purpose really is just to keep baby's bum off of questionable surfaces and to protect your car upholstery. I also like Huggies Disposable Changing Pads and even though we have the one that came with the diaper bag I always keep a couple of these in there as well. The diaper bag has lot of pockets for storing smaller things and clips that will strap to your stroller. I also appreciated that it wasn't overly expensive. So many of the diaper bags geared towards men are over priced. I do have a second diaper bag that is fairly basic but it is hot pink and zebra. Awesome bag but Papasaurusrex doesn't want to carry that one. I always have both bags packed. Mostly though we use this one. If you don't care for this design I do recommend a bag that has lots of pockets, a large storage pouch, a changing pad, and a wet bag. (Wet bags are good for those cute little clothes that get pee or poop on them or even keeping all those dirty diapers together. Nothing like finding a month old dirty diaper in the bottom of your bag.)
• Summer Infant Super Seat This seat is so much fun. Cutes Patoots loves to sit up and play with all the toys. Once baby is doing finger foods there is a little space on the tray where you can put Cheerios or whatever. There is a strap underneath to secure it to a chair as a booster seat. All in all worth every penny. The toys are fun and it grows with the child. When using it to support baby while they learn to sit keep it on the floor and never leave baby unattended in the chair. I've never had any problem with tipping but better safe than sorry.
• Lamaze Freddie the Firefly WORTH EVERY PENNY! This is Cutes favorite toy. See her glee at biting his face. You too can bring that joy.
  

  

  Hey look it's Freddie and the Super seat.

  We take it with us everywhere. Freddie can divert almost anything even a wet diaper fit while I find the bathroom. He is brightly colored with lots of textures. there is a squeaker, a teether, a mirror. Her grandma calls him her busy bee because there are so many aspects of Freddie for her to get busy with. Cutes Patoots favorite thing though is to crinkle his wings. All in all this is just a great developmental toy. Your little darling may prefer another of Lamaze's cast of characters though. What I did was show her several different ones letting her touch them. I picked the one she reacted to with the most delight. When I took Freddie from her in the store the first time, she reached up for him. Something she didn't do for any of the others. I promptly gave him back to her and they have been friends ever since. (Side note: If you don't attach him to the stroller/carrier make sure to keep checking that he is still there when you go out. Do not lose him. Yes you can buy a new one, but you'd be amazed at how attached you become to the original. I thought I lost her O-Ball once and nearly cried.)
• Balls. Big balls, smaller balls, soft ones, and hard ones. Babies love balls. Some of my favorites are the O-Ball Soccer ball fun to chew on and help develop that pesky hand to hand passing trick. It's also good for rolling once baby can sit on their own. The Infantino Activity Ball also good for those hand to hand skills. It has a "rain maker" and is just lots of fun. It's another one of those toys she reached for. Finally the Sassy Loopy Ball is  great too. Brightly colored and soft, great for chewing on or so she tells me.

Babies First Cold

     It's going to happen. There is nothing you can do to stop it shy of locking baby in a hermetically sealed room (no that IS a bad idea). It is really just a matter of when and if you are prepared. Baby's fist cold is a nightmare for most first time parents. Cutes Patoots got hers a few days after turning 3 months old, and let me tell you I was not exactly rational about it. I slept on the floor in her room just in case she needed me. I didn't want to be the 10 feet down the hall lest those few seconds make all the difference. The word "slept" is a bit deceiving as well, as I "woke" at every sound she made, even if it was just her turning her head. Honestly I think the whole experience was worse for me than it was her. She didn't even get a fever. I had a bit of advanced warning too. I had come down with what I hoped was a non-contagious sinus infection. It wasn't and no, caring for a baby while I was sick was not pleasant. I survived, I promise you will too even if you do feel like death warmed over. By Friday night I knew my wishes for it to be noon-contagious were for naught. At bed time I could hear her congestion.

Borrowed this from wordpress.

    We suctioned her nose and put her to bed as usual. While I sat in her nursery to wait for her to fall asleep I made the irrational decision to sleep on the floor and Googled whether or not I should take her to the ER (up and coming article on Googling baby. Just trust me everything you read will either reassure you baby is fine or dying. There isn't really a middle ground). In the end we took her to the Saturday clinic (mostly for my own peace of mind). Sure enough she had a viral infection and there was really nothing to be done except wait it out. Ten days later and she had a bit of a rattle in her chest, so back we went to her pediatrician for a check up and chest x-ray. Again it was nothing. (A bit of advice if you can avoid a chest xray please do. They strap them into a device that is positively medieval.)
     The doctor did give me a bit of advice that really helped with the congestion issues, which I will impart to you now. Get some Vick's Baby Rub (you can also use regular Vick's rub, but the baby version is less harsh) and rub it gently into the soles of baby's feet before putting them into footie pajamas/sleep sack when putting them down to sleep at night or for a longer nap during the day. My mother also recommended this to me after we had talked to the doctor. The other thing my doctor recommended was a bath in J&J's Soothing Vapor Baby Bath. Both of these tricks really helped and the thick congestion broke up practically over night and helped Cutes to breathe so much better, even getting rid of the slight rattle in her chest.
     Like I said at the beginning there is nothing you can do to really prevent the first cold. Sure you can keep baby at home all the time, but eventually they are going to venture out into the world and come across germs and viruses. They are going to play with another baby and be exposed to that kids germs. There is nothing wrong with this. By all means do what you can to keep baby safe and not expose them to unnecessary risks, especially before 3 months, but don't be surprised when despite best efforts your little darling comes down with a bug. Your best play in this case is to be prepared in advance with a few essentials.

Baby's First Cold Checklist:

• A thermometer: It doesn't matter if it is an old school rectal version (in which case have thermometer probe covers on hand) or on of the new fancy temporal ones. Though not having to violate your baby is nice(and yes that is what you will feel like you are doing. You aren't but you still feel like a criminal.) , especially if they have just fallen asleep. Exergen makes a nice thermometer that you can get at Costco for about $30.
• A bulb syringe. Most likely they will give you one at the hospital and/or your baby health and grooming kit you got before baby's arrival will have one. I like one that comes apart in 2 pieces so that it's easier to clean. There are also fancier versions like Nose Frieda, though I can't speak to their effectiveness or ease of use. I'll let you know if that changes. Just make sure you clean your nasal aspirator between each use and do it properly so it doesn't get moldy.
• A Thermal Bear. Okay this is not strictly necessary, but I have found this thing INVALUABLE. Whether it is for a fever from a cold or vaccines, or if your A/C is broken for over a week. This thing is awesome. It doesn't get so cold it can't touch baby's skin, but holds the chill for a while. I haven't used it as a heat pack, but I imagine it is the similar, gets warm but not too warm. Just make sure to read the instructions for care. Bonus: it is washable and baby doesn't mind snuggling it. Just don't leave your LO unattended while they snuggle him.
• Vick's Baby Rub. I have already covered this one.
• A Vapor Baby Bath. Again covered it. I do believe that Baby Magic might have their own version if you are adverse to using J&J products. If you happen to be stuffy at the same time the vapors during bath time are relieving for mom or dad as well.
• A Pediatrician. This seems dumb to say but make sure you have a pediatrician and their number handy at all times, as well as knowing where the nearest emergency room is, just in case.

All of this said, babies first cold will not be any easier for you mentally and will takes it toll on you physically. We are blessed in that Cutes Patoots was an angel face during the whole experience. She mostly maintained her schedule, only waking when her airways really needed cleared and thankfully she didn't have a fever. Not everyone is that lucky, and I feel for those of you that will have a harder time than I did. All I can say is try to get as much rest as you can and take care of yourself as best you can. Sleeping on the floor in baby's nursery is NOT necessary nor does it really do you any good. That said if you feel you must I certainly can't cast stones. Just keep in mind you  are not alone. Every mother has been through the first cold. You will survive even if you don't think you will.

Post-baby Sanity Savers

    I know I promised a post on my favorite baby things and good things to have on a registry, but that will have to wait. I also promise to try and write something more than once a month. Notice the word TRY. Having a baby changes your life irrevocably. I know you have heard that before, but until you are ACTUALLY holding your first child you hold on to some delusion that your life isn't going to change that much. God I am laughing at my pregnant self so hard right now. You've no idea. Babies take time, attention, and TIME. Does everything have to change? No, but a lot of things do. Suddenly leaving the house goes from a 5 minute undertaking to needing to either plan the night before and have everything pre-prepped OR taking about 2 hours by the end of which you no longer want to leave the house because you are exhausted.(Don't worry that 2 hours will get stream-lined into about 20-30 minutes once you learn how to work that confounded contraption they call a car seat, to just get dressed BEFORE the baby wakes, and to always have the diaper bag fully loaded (that being said always double check it especially if someone recently told you you don't need 18 diapers in the bag. They may have removed them all and then let's just say you end up with an unhappy baby). My point is things change. It takes longer to do anything and things you used to spend time on you no longer seem to have the time or energy for. Then you are inundated with articles telling you to "take time for yourself" and you are thinking "yeah okay, I'll do that at 2500 between the midnight feeding and 1AM diaper change. Here's the thing though that little bit of time for yourself can be very important to your sanity and ultimately your babies health because if you are depressed, run down, and angry your baby will pick up on it and be upset and it become a vicious cycle. So below I am going to outline a few things that made my life seem a little less dramatically changed. Now mind you many of these things took a month or more to be able to do on any sort of regular basis.

Chores
    Okay so they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. This is fantastic advice, but you do have things that need done and in the early weeks/months it's best to do them when baby is sleeping. In the early weeks try sleeping during one nap and doing a task the next (they nap a LOT). When naps become less frequent later on work during the nap by that point your little darling will probably be sleeping through the night.
     Try to choose where your baby naps. Sometimes they just fall asleep with no warning, but most of the time you'll know a nap is coming. Put the baby either in a room with a monitor or within ear shot of the room you want to work in if not the room its self. You will have piece of mind that baby is safe,but still accomplish whatever it is that needs done. Being sure the baby is safe and content I find to be the biggest hindrance to productivity when I need to work in another room, the second is they are just so darn cute you forget yourself sometimes. You can't do anything about that, not that you'd want to.
     Forgive yourself the messy house! It is just not going to be what it was unless you are a) a super woman, b) have friends and family you will let either watch the baby or scrub your toilet, or c) you hire someone. I know that is not very encouraging, but there is a VERY steep learning curve to having a baby. It takes time to figure out how to do everything. It's better to fall a little behind in the house work then run yourself into the ground. Also your little darling is only a baby ONCE, enjoy it. Don't feel bad about not doing the laundry because you decided to spend the afternoon playing with your baby. That is just stupid. ENJOY your bundle of joy!

Grooming
     This is an important part of taking care of yourself. TRY to shower daily. On the days you can't manage a shower wash your face and remember dry shampoo is your friend as is a ponytail. And hey I used to feel pretty special on the days I managed to brush my hair. Sometimes I still do. I find it is easiest to shower at night. When my husband isn't home I like to do the dishes right after I put Cutes Patoots down for the night and then shower. When he is in town I like to shower either when he gets home from work or before bed and I do the dishes before the baby wakes up. Doing them at night is better though. I can never guarantee which one of us will wake up first.
     As far as the "extras" go, make up and things like that. Try to put make-up on once or twice a week. It will make you feel more like your old self if you wore it before. You may need to stream line the processes though. Ditching some of the old glam and going for something a little simpler: a light dusting of bronzer, maybe a single swipe of eye shadow, and some mascara. If you have time for more by all means do more. For your hair try to get an easy no fuss hair cut before the baby is born. My daughter is 4 months old and I still haven't managed to get mine cut. If you have longer hair a ponytail can really be a life saver. Some people will say it is frumpy, but I find it can be quite pretty if you put a big bow on top (If you have a girl just borrow some of hers, it will save money). French braids are great too, and don't take a lot of time. They are fantastic if like me you used to have bangs but your hair has grown so much they just seem like short layers. I like to braid my bangs into it and just slick a touch of mousse on the front of the braid to keep them in place.
     Your nails may take a toll. If you have time to do a full polish job by all means do so, but honestly that won't always be an option. Start looking into 60 second polishes if you plan to go this route, baby will have a sixth sense that your nails are wet. Your other option is to go natural. Keep your nails trimmed and filed to avoid scratching baby's delicate skin and just don't worry about it. As long as your nails are clean and shaped people won't really care about the polish. It's when you are walking around sporting severely chipped paint people start to notice.
    How you dress is also important to how you feel about yourself. I find that I am far more productive on days I actually get dressed in "real" clothes and feel like I am more than a diaper changing milk machine. You know what I'm talking about. The yoga pants are super comfy but are just one step away from pajamas. It isn't any more difficult to put on jeans and a baby tee, tank top, or cute top than it is your favorite yoga pants and hoodie that you probably bought while pregnant and couldn't bare to wear anything else. There is nothing wrong with doing the yoga pants and hoodie routine one maybe two days a week but most days try the real clothes thing. You might notice you start to feel a bit better about yourself. When baby is brand new remember if you got a shower and into the yoga pants you did great. If you can get more than that even better.

Sleep
     Okay this is a biggie. In the early days sleep when you can. When you have grandparents visit let them watch baby while you catch a few extra Z's. On the weekends ask your partner if they can take over for a bit. When you are on your own just get what sleep you can and remember they do eventually sleep through the night. Try not to lose your patience because you are tired when they are cranky. Learning to control  how and when to express your emotions is hard, but if you can learn it quick you will have a much calmer and happier baby.
     Once sweetness is sleeping through the night the rules change a little bit. I was lucky and Cutes started sleeping through the night early and with little fuss. Establishing a bedtime routine early was one of the best things I did for her and myself. I promise to write a post on bedtime routines and what we did, but this post is about your sleep and your sanity. Once your little one is down for the night be in bed no more than an hour after. That hour between them going to bed and you going to bed can be used for showering, dishes, watching an entire tv program and actually knowing what is going on, or just sitting starring at a wall. That wind down hour is nice to have, but make sure most nights you don't stay up longer than that because you never know when baby will wake. Sometimes they just start waking up in the middle of the night for no discernible reason, or they wake up at O'dark thirty and will not go back to sleep. The idea here is to get as much sleep as you can because on a great day you will wake up two hours before they do and get stuff done before you even see their smiling face. On a bad day you will have gotten enough sleep to get you through the day.

Baby, Baby, Baby
     This one I am still working on, but try not to let your entire life revolve around your little darling. In the early days it will. It has to and that is the nature of becoming a parent, BUT, and this is a big but once you have a handle on the whole parent thing (or think you do at any rate. Inevitably something will happen and you will be like "I know NOTHING.")  Let's call it a tenuous grip on parenting make sure everything is not baby. Try reading something that is not baby related, or window shopping for NOT baby stuff. Try to do some of the things you did before baby but maybe with a few modifications. If you liked to jog get a jogging stroller and jog. If you like to go swimming once baby hits about 4 months there is no reason to not take them to the pool as long as your pediatrician okays it. This will give you something to talk about other than baby and your friends will thank you for it.

I hope these suggestions help. These are things that take time to get comfortable with but you need to have an identity other than as your little one's mom, and learning to balance their needs with your own is an important part of that. That balance will change every now and then and you have to learn to adapt. Adapting is not my personal strong suit. I don't like rolling with it and lose schedules. I like to plan and plan and have it all mapped out. With a baby that is much more difficult and learning flexibility is key. Your baby is important but remember so are you.

Must Haves Before Baby Arrives

     When you first find out you are expecting it's like you bcome possessed by some alien life form. Well in a manner you have but that is a different post. My point is you become OBSESSED with everything baby, from research about how to care for your baby in utero to caring for an infant, and then there is the nursery. At some point you become plagued by this overwhelming drive to get it done. If you are anything like me it hits at about 3 months and doesn't end even after it's complete as you think of new things or ways to organize. Your partner will NOT understand why you HAVE to have a crib now! NOW! NOOW!!!!!! when the baby is months off. They won't. Don't try and make them. You will just end up frustrated. If you are lucky yours will be as amazing as my hubby, who we will refer to as Papasaurusrex, and they will just accept that you are pregnant and it's best to humor you. I have friends though that their husbands would love to humor them but due to circumstances, a PCS move, is unable to until they are settled. This situation has to be frustrating. I know at one point if we didn't get the stroller/carseat combo soon I might have punched Papasaurusrex in the face. It's not that I don't love him and didn't understand his view, but those hormones are killer on the logic center of the brain. Now that I am removed from those hormones I can see how ridiculous I was being and all the small stuff I sweated that I have either not used or just started using at 3 months. In this post I am going to list the things you really need to have when you bring your little darling home. I'll cover the nice to haves in a later post.
     First things first as far as the nursery goes Cutes Patoots didn't spend the night in there until she was two months old (when she started to sleep through the night. We are blessed and we know it.) Two months seems like a long time and I know half of you are thinking "MY baby will be in their own room in two weeks." I'm laughing at you right now. We said the same, but understand that when you are sleep deprived and have to feed and change the baby at minimum every 3 hours even ten feet down the hall is too far to walk. So if you don't have the nursery ready don't sweat it. You've got time, and as long as you have a crib, matress protector, and 3-4 sheets by the time your baby is ready for their own room you are good. Everything else can wait.

The true essentials are in this list:

• Pack-n-play with a bassinet. These are great for putting in your room for baby to sleep. You can even move it into whatever room you are in during the day. We mostly used her cradle swing during the day, but sometimes we moved the pnp downstairs during the day too. It's also nice because it serves for a longer time than a bassinet or co-sleeper. You can go with one of those if you like, but understand that you will end up buying a pack-n-play at some point. Save yourself some money. You are going to need it for diapers. Just make sure you get a pnp with an insert to bring baby up closer to the top. Don't worry if it doesn't have the "newborn napper" or a changing table. We only used the changing table once before it was removed and relegated to the closet and ours didn't have the newborn napper. It was fine.

  

  See no newborn napper and she is fine.

• 3 pack-n-play sheets and 3 multipurpose waterproof pads. This seems silly but trust me you don't want to have to clean the pnp at 4am when you were just up at 3am after the baby pees while you are changing their diaper. Yes, that happened. Yes, we bought pads and sheets the next day. It's much easier to swap out sheets and pads then to scrub the pack-n-play. With all bedding, including swaddles I like to live with a minimum rule of 3: one in use, one in the laundry, and at least one clean. You will be doing a lot of laundry the first few weeks. Just trust me.
• Breast pump if you plan to breast feed. I had two, one manual and one double electric. I got the Medela double electric. It's expensive but if you can swing it it is worth EVERY penny. Once my milk came in I am convinced this pump helped me to establish an over abundant supply. I would nurse her then pump even in the earliest days. Now I pump exclusively because she is such a vigorous nurser. I swear she bit me at two days old. My nipples couldn't handle it, but I wanted her to have breast milk. My pumps allowed me to have the best of both worlds.
• Formula and bottles. Whether you plan to breast feed or not PLEASE have some formula on hand. In the first couple of days to a week your milk is coming in. Most likely , especially if you are a first time mom, you will not have enough milk. The "experts" tell us not to give them any formula it will "damage" your supply. But here is the thing breast fed babies lose weight, more weight than formula fed babies. Breast milk IS best, but if there isn't enough milk to fill your little ones tummy they may lose too much and that is no good. Not to mention you end up with a very cranky baby and very sore nipples. Don't be afraid or ashamed if you have to give your darling bundle a few formula bottles. Lactation consultants made me feel like a villian when I caved and gave Cutes formula in the earliest days, but she she only lost 8% of her birth weight, 10% is about average and more than that is considered not good. So if you FEEL your child is not getting enough milk don't be afraid to give a formula bottle in between nursings. So I didn't damage my supply I would pump during or after a bottle feeding. It wasn't much to start with. I was excited if I managed to pump 2oz, then 4 was exciting now it is between 15-25 oz in a sitting. So supply NOT damaged. Also don't feel bad if your supply is not as abundant as mine. Honestly there are enough things you will feel guilty over, don't go looking for more. Lactation consultants are great and I highly recommend making use of them if they are an available resource in the early days to help with latch, answer "my boobs are doing this" questions, and then more latch issues. Just don't allow them to make you feel bad for giving a bit of formula. To avoid nipple confusion, another "big" issue get something with a more natural shape to the nipple. I prefer the Playtex Drop-In's . If you push the air out it seems to eliminate gas problems. But get what works for you. Don't buy too many of any bottle you never know what baby will prefer. Also sign up for the Similac Strong Mom's program. They will send you a new mom package with full size samples of formula and coupons, plenty for the early days and if formula feeding free is free. 
• Swaddles. Make sure to have blankets for swaddling and/or something like the Summer Infant SwaddleMe wraps. The wraps come in a variety of colors, patterns, and sizes. Start with the small, and again have at least 3 swaddle wraps and 3 blankets that are made for swaddling. 
• Diapers lots of diapers. Have a box of newborn and then stock up on size 1. You may need to buy more newborn diapers. It's hard to tell how many you will go through. We went through 15 diapers a day at least. You could go through more or less. Another hot tip: don't open the diapers until you need them. This way if lets say you get 5 boxes of newborn diapers as gifts you can go to the store and trade them for the correct size. Most stores if you tell them you got the wrong size and need to get one size bigger are fine with it as long as the box is still factory sealed even without a receipt. NEVER trade in the bigger sizes unless you absolutely have to because of money. You will use them eventually. As for brand that is a presonal decision. We used Huggies Little Snugglers. We loved the wetness indicaor and they have a cut out for the belly button. We also used the Pampers they gave us at the hospital. They have the same features. Once you get into size one if you have a Costco membership the Kirkland diapers work just as good as Huggies but are cheaper. However diapers as I said are a personal preference item.
• Wipes. We like Huggies because the are thick and soft. Every parent has a preference. I had a friend that swore to me Huggies wipes were awful we love them. Take a gamble, try a few brands.
• Diaper Cream. We use Boudreux's Butt Paste. It prevents diaper rash nicely and if she happens to get a touch the paste clears it up in 24 hours or less.
• Gas Drops. Better to have them and not need them than to need them at 3am and not have them. I like Little Remedies Gripe water. It's natural and safe for use for newborns.
• Cotton Balls, Q-tips, and Alcohol Swabs. The cotton balls are good for drying bottoms and washing faces with water. The Q-tips for cleaning small crevices like the outer ear. And the alcohol swabs for  belly button care.
• Soft Towels and Wash Cloths. A bath tub is nice but the first few weeks you will mostly do sponge baths only. So until that little stump falls off you can get away without one. If you feel you must have one I like the Fisher Price whale tub, the bumper keeps baby from sliding if you have to take your hands off of your LO for a second. Also a nice unscented  or lightly scented baby wash is nice ( I used Aveeno's lightly scented) but not a must have. For the most part there is not much a newborn can get into you can't get off with water. Towels and wash cloths on the other hand you need. They can be the special baby ones but any soft towel material will do. You want to have 3 of each. 
• Lanolin. I'm sure you read how it is great for cracked nipples. Honestly a little bit of breast milk spread over the nipple and left to dry will do more for your nipples than the lanolin or it did mine anyway, but this stuff is still great. Cutes Patoots had a little bit of cradle cap behind the ears and on her forhead (yes it can appear there. Yes it will still freak you out). A little lanolin once to twice a day cleared it right up. It's also good for moisturizing baby because it doesn't have a bunch of harsh chemicals if they oh say put their hand in their mouth. You can also use a thin application on baby's bottom to help keep that sticky meconium from sticking so bad. I have used glues with less sticking power than newborn poop. Lanolin rocks is the long and short here.
• Nail Clippers. Baby's nails will be paper thin, but sharp and can scratch delicate skin. These are important to have. I have still not used ours. I am a big chicken and make Papasaurusrex do it, but they are still important to have.
• Pajamas. Preferable with fold over mitts for the hands. This will prevent scratches while you work up the courage to use the nail clippers. Also we prefered the kind that snapped up both legs. Yes the zippers seem more convenient, but getting those squirmy little legs back in is hard. Some how the snaps are just easier. You only have to undo them enough to change the diaper, not completely undress them. You worked hard to get them in that cute little jammie you don't want them to come out of it again until they have too. This is the one time I am going to say more than 3. 6 is good. I would focus on size 0-3 months before baby is born. You don't know how big your little bundle may be and you don't want to have a bunch of clothes baby never wears. I have found the clothes from Wal-mart run big. Also Disney runs a little larger as well.
• Onesies, 3-4 of these are a good minimum. As you learn how to change diapers you do laundry a lot because sometimes baby goes before you are done changing the diaper. It won't however kill your LO to be in just a diaper if they are swaddled up while the laundry finishes. You will find out that is how they prefer to be. Onesies are awesome but our little darling mostly wore the pajamas and we live in Hawaii. If you have to choose between buying onesies or footie pajamas go for the jammies!
• Thermometer. It can be a fancy temporal scanner or an old school rectal, doesn't matter. Have one on hand though just in case. If you have the rectal make sure to have probe covers.
• Overnight Maxi pads. I liked the Always Infinity. They had a high capacity but did not make me feel like I was wearing a diaper too. You will need these and it would be nice if you didn't have to run to the store the day you get home from the hospital.
• Hemmroid Cream, just trust me. If you don't use it for it's intended purpose good for you! Use it to hide the bags under your eyes. 
• Yoga Pants. You won't go home and miraculously fit into your pre-pregnancy pants. It could be weeks or (sorry) months before that happens. Things take time to get back to the way they were and honestly they may NEVER be exactly what they were. You just grew a human. It's okay. Yoga pants are nice because they fit loose but will still fit as you shrink over the coming weeks and (bonus) you can use them to work out once you are cleared for physical activity. Buy a pretty pair with bright colors and have a plain pair you can pretend are "real" pants.

     There are other things that are nice to have but these were the basics I couldn't have gotten by without. I left nursing bras off the list, but there is a reason. I didn't know what size I was going to need once my milk came in. I bought several nursing bras prior to Cutes arrival. Turned out they were all too small.You can buy in advance if you like but you may need to go to the store after your milk comes in anyway.